Firing Someone? Help Them Save Face

Q. I’ve done all the “right” things in the termination process. But what can I say to employees terminated for cause— to minimize the pain—and help them move on? And how do I explain the situation to others in the department who were their friends? —Tom R.

A. Helping a terminated or downsized employee save face is important—and it’s often overlooked in the emotion of the situation. You also want to minimize the impact on morale in the department, and help co-workers deal with their feelings like anger, distrust or worry (“Am I next?”)

Try to minimize the blame you put on the person you are terminating. Instead, focus on the performance that wasn’t acceptable. You might help the employee save face by suggesting that maybe this is really what he wants or needs, and suggest that it’s the disciplinary process that made it happen. Be as honest as you can, while still keeping consistent with the situation: The relationship is over and it’s time for the employee and the company to move on. Here are some things you might say to the employee during that final, emotion-packed meeting:

“This just wasn’t the right job for you. Perhaps in a different situation, you’ll do quite well. Maybe you can even use another set of skills you have. For example, you’re really good at planning, and this job required a bias for action and getting things done fast, which aren’t your strong suits. You seem to prefer to work alone, in more of a research environment. In this job, you were expected to talk with customers and vendors most of the day.”

“You’re well thought of in many parts of the company, and you have many good traits you can be proud of. It’s just that your overall performance, as we’ve discussed in previous meetings, wasn’t what we needed.”

“If you can focus on the fact that this just wasn’t the right job for you, I think you’ll recover faster and keep your career on track.”

Some other phrases you may find helpful:

“Although I am sympathetic with your situation…” “…difficult decision for us…”

“…don’t want to discourage your further efforts. At the same time…”

“Because we have a critical budget problem…”

“Because we have to respond to new marketing problems that didn’t exist when you first

joined us…”

“Under other circumstances we would feel fortunate to have you…” “It just doesn’t meet our needs right now.” “We know you’ll find another solution to your problem…”

Telling the Staff

If the termination occurred for obvious disciplinary reasons, the employee was probably a problem to others in the department as well. In this case, they may be glad to see him or her go. But if the separated employee was well-liked, you have a morale problem to deal with.

The termination should be private, and handled sensitively. The same goes for

explaining the termination to others in the department. It’s barbaric when the employee’s first warning that this is his or her last day is that computer access was blocked overnight. It’s even worse when, within a few minutes after arriving, a security guard arrives to escort the terminated employee to the boss’s office or the HR Department—in full view of the other employees. (Some employers wonder why their employees aren’t as loyal and committed as they once were— when they suddenly treat someone who’s worked for a company for many years as the enemy.)

Tell the other staff members privately, one-on-one, if you can. Second best: call them together for a meeting where they have time to vent or ask questions. Some of them maybe asking, “Am I next?” Least preferred way, but sometimes necessary: Post a notice that doesn’t point the finger at the departing employee.

Whatever way you use to tell the staff, never put down the terminated employee. It’s not just the wrong way to rebuild staff morale; you could be setting yourself up for a lawsuit. Focus on the changing needs of the organization. When you can, speak well of the person, and express regret for what had to be done. Explain the reasons from a performance or business standpoint:

“We needed to cut our costs so that we could continue to survive and…”

“While John’s performance was acceptable in some areas, there were other goals and expectations that were difficult for him. We worked hard with him during the past several months to find another way out of this situation, but it just wasn’t possible.”

“We’re sorry we had to take this action for economic reasons, and we’re

providing all the support we can to help her find a new position.”

To summarize: Treat the terminated employee, and the staff, as you’d like to be treated.