Overcome Resistance Gently

Q. I recently had a performance appraisal and my boss told me that I become too defensive when someone objects to one of my ideas. I don’t want to just give in when someone criticizes my views, but I don’t want to cause problems, either. Is it possible for me to hold my ground without offending the other person? —Marian T.

A. It’s not only possible, but the only way to maintain a positive, productive relationship. If politicians from different parties really blistered their opponents in an argument, any progress at further talks would be deadlocked. They’ve learned to disagree with each other’s positions, but still work with each other.

Here’s how it works: First, begin with the right attitude. Realize that...

• Objections are simply requests for more information—which you must

provide.

• They're actually "steering signals" that show the way to agreement.

• Realize that it's OK to fail. (Use each failure as a prompt to change

your approach.)

Second, plan your answers and work them into the conversation. Build your stock of verbal responses, and practice them.

Suppose a co-worker says, "Your idea costs too much." Here are 12 strategies you can use to overcome this as well as other objections: "We don't have the time"; "It's not in our plan"; "Our people are not ready for it.”

Verbal Technique

1. Re-phrase…

their objection in the form of a question—then answer it. I wonder if you’re really asking, “What makes this program worth the 20% higher price? “Well, for starters, it has a 10-year guarantee; the software is flawless, and can easily adapt to our current system.”

2. "Yes, and..."

(Never say "But".) Say "And" instead. Then add information that actually over-rules the objection. "Yes, it does cost more. And at the same time it produces 20% more reliability."

(When you really can't meet the objection) Introduce another, unrelated benefit. Don’t pause. Respond quickly, and don't let any time pass. It's more important to say something immediately than to pause."Yes, this program does cost a little more. And it's the best way to give you the 10 percent response you want."

3. Compliment the person.

(He's done his homework and wants to stump you.) "You're absolutely right. It looks like you've done some thorough research. Not everyone takes the time to check the facts."

"Staff time really is important. Only someone who's examined the facts as you have will see that a less expensive approach will require more staff time to follow up on leads."

4. Ask for less.

(When it's clear you can't have everything you want, make an offer that's more acceptable.) "I can understand your reluctance to authorize the full campaign right now. At the same time you'd probably like to get started soon. Why don't we go ahead and start just Phase One as a 'pilot' project?"

5. Panic button.

(You buy time while you search for a better response. Begin by repeating the objection, then introduce a benefit.)"I understand you feel that this program is too costly. At the same time, ithas the strategy you need to deliver the marketing results."

6. Feel-felt-found.

Show you understand their feelings; tell them others have felt the same way; then show what the others found. (Show how they can continue to maintain their view point and still support your idea.) "I understand how you feel when you say that..." (Or, "I understand your position when you say that..."

"Others have felt the same way because..."

or ("Others have had pretty much the same position you have right now.”)" And what they found was..." or ("And when they considered the long-range benefits, they realized that...")

7. Restate their response,

and turn it around till you get a "Yes" response. "In other words, Barbara, you'd like to add the telemarketing follow-up, but not just at this time. Is that right?"

8. Suggest that they consider what others are doing.

"I can understand your feeling that way, Barbara. At the same time, I wonder if

it we shouldn’t consider the experience of other managers who have this system, and

have been really pleased with the results."

9. Agree with the prospect.

"You're right, of course, George. It is an expensive first step. Have you thought about

how this program could give you 500 qualified leads in less than month?"

10. Make an excuse

for their drawing the wrong conclusion.

“ Betty, I must have made a mistake to make you feel that way. Actually what I meant to say was..."

11. Confront their idea gently, and with restraint and courtesy.

"For some reason, Bob, your present campaign doesn't seem to be

meeting your needs as much as you'd like. A full-service approach could

solve your problems because..."

12. Show that more choices are available than they realize.

"It's true, Bob, that we offer the most complete direct response sales process available anywhere. We can help you every step of the way--from the time you first contact your customer until the sale is closed."

Three last suggestions: Treat the person who disagrees with you as your partner, not the enemy. Don’t raise your voice. And keep smiling.