Phone Calls—Return Them And Save Time/Hassle

Q. I called four people in the last two days (all business calls), and only one called back. Not returning calls, especially when the receiver has to say “No,” seems to be a growing practice. Am I wrong in expecting calls to be returned? — Elizabeth T.

A. It’s discouraging and frustrating when people don’t return calls. A friend of mine recently had what he believed was a good interview for a management position, and even sent a follow-up note. After two weeks of waiting, he called the interviewer to ask about the status of his application. He got through only to an answering machine, so he had to leave a voice-mail message. The interviewer still hasn’t responded.

I wish I knew why not returning phone calls is a problem today. My guess it’s because of the huge increase in unsolicited phone calls; the growing workload; the less time available; the growing insensitivity in our culture; not knowing how to say “No” graciously.

Whatever the cause, not returning calls is unprofessional and rude. (I’m not talking about unsolicited telemarketing calls—just those made to check on the status of a problem; to ask a question.)

Here are three guidelines that can help you return problem calls—especially to refuse a request or give unpleasant news.

• Do it now. Putting off an unpleasant phone call makes the situation worse. Why not get rid of the unpleasant task as soon as you can, so you can move on to other things? Tell job applicants during the interview when they can expect to hear from you. If it’ll be more than a week, say so, and say why (you’re still interviewing candidates; it takes at least three weeks to check the references of several other leading candidates; a key decision-maker won’t be available for at least three weeks.)

• Avoid language that suggests a winner and a loser— that pits you against the caller. Try to eliminate negative-sounding words from your response: afraid, bad luck, blame, cannot, cornered, crisis, delay, excuse, fail, fault, fear, final, forgot, frustrating, impractical, inadequate, insist, loser, loss, must, nervous, no, non-negotiable, overloaded.

• Develop—and use—a sample script for saying “No.” Here’s a four-step technique that works for almost any refusal, and you never have to use the word “No,” or any negative phrase. You’ll be able to deal with almost any unpleasant situation quickly, and not damage the relationship.

1. Respond with a positive--or at least a neutral--statement. “I’d like to help you,” or, “I can see that’s important to you.” or, “That’s a critical project.”

2. Summarize what prevents you from saying "Yes" right now. “Right now I have to…” or “I'm on my way to a meeting (or preparing for a meeting) in just a few minutes.” or, “My calendar is full right now. What can we do to work out another arrangement?” In this step, it’s important not to use the words “but” or “however,” because they make the other person defensive and, in effect, cancel the first statement. Instead, say, “At the same time…” or don’t include a transition statement—go right to step two.

3. Suggest options. “Can I call you at 3 p.m. to set up an appointment?” or, “Can we schedule this for a later time? How about 1 p.m.?” or, “ How about your putting together an outline of ideas so we can look at it?”

4. Invite collaboration, ideas, suggestions to solve the problem. “Are there other

options we can consider?” or, “Is there something else you can suggest?”

Hold Your Ground

What if the other person doesn’t agree to any of these steps? Then hold your ground and keep repeating the four steps like a broken record (just change the wording a little each time). This is being assertive—and you’ll deal with the unpleasant task quickly.

Throughout the conversation, try to use only words of support and cooperation: collaborate, guide, helpful, idea, learn, manage, offer; open mind; solve, synergy, team, team player, thanks, together, work together. Using only positive words in the conversation positions you as a partner, not an enemy. It’s not as easy for the caller to get angry or frustrated with you when you keep saying things like, “I’d like to help you; that’s a really important task; let’s see what can be done.”

With these techniques, you’ll handle those unwelcome phones more quickly and easily. And you’ll lower your stress as well.