Q. I write a lot of letters, memos, and e-mails and they’re getting longer, and taking more time to write, while my available time is getting more squeezed. Can I cut words without losing the meaning of the message? —Jack B.

A. Absolutely—and this is a critical skill needed more than ever today, because the amount of information we’re sharing is growing by leaps each day. Trouble is, our educational culture sometimes focuses on writing for quantity, not quality. (Remember writing a 200-word essay when you had only 150 words of ideas? You padded or stuffed the writing with empty phrases.) That may work in the classroom, but not on the job. Here’s what good writers do to cut extra words:

Hunt Whiches; Kill Be’s

Unnecesary words are like fat in food: they don't nourish ideas. Hunt for which’s. "Which" clauses often pack a sentence with too many ideas. Solution? Replace a which with a period, and make two or more sentences:

Instead of…

Production quota reductions, which go into effect this week, have been made economically feasible by substantial reduction in operating expenses. (19 words)

Use…

Starting this week, we’re cutting production quotas. Why? Because we cut expenses. (12 words)

The second version also uses simpler words to replace economically, feasible, substantial, reduction, operating. They make the sentence hard to understand. (More about using simpler words later on.)

Next, try to replace any form of the verb “to be”— be, is, are, was, were, been, being, am—with a stronger, more lively verb. “Be” verbs are weak, and often cause you to add words you don't need. They also often force you into the wordy and weak passive voice. Like leeches, be verbs hang on to other verbs and make writing impersonal. Look at this messy sentence with “be” verbs and the passive voice. Use the active voice—and killing the “be” verbs.

Instead of…

It is urgently recommended that every effort be made by the writer to make sure that the passive voice is changed to the active voice so that his or her writing can be more easily understoodby the reader.” (37 words)

Use:

“Change passive verbs to active so yourreader can understand you more easily.”(13 words)

Instead of…

“Receipt of your letter is acknowledged and appreciated.”

Use…

“Thanks for your letter.”

Cut the Fluff

Some words or phrases we commonly use are really excess baggage. You can cut them without any loss of meaning and write short, lean prose.

Instead of

in view of the fact that…use because

a large number of…use many

through the medium of …use by

in the event that…use if

for the purpose of…use to

in order to…use to

in view of…use since

Replace nouns with verbs

When you can, turn nouns into verbs--to focus on action:

altercation (dispute)

remuneration (pay)

development (develop)

fortification (fortify)

preparation (prepare)

Use simple words

We express the most important ideas in our lives in one-syllable words: God, love, birth, death, health, joy, sex, warmth, peace, cash, food, drink. So:

abbreviate (shorten)

demonstrate (show)

facilitate (help)

optimum (best)

approximately (about)

Combine Ideas

Instead of

The manager's report was carefully

illustrated, and it covered five pages.

Use

The manager's carefully illustrated,

five-page report …

Make sentences positive, not negative

Instead of

If the error does not involve data correction, the special function key should not be used.

Use

Use the special function key to correct data.

Now, Test Yourself:

Improve these sentences by cutting words you don't need.

A. The degree of importance in the level of accuracy depends upon the particular situation.

B. The fact that the recruit had not succeeded was brought to my attention recently.

C. The reason why we failed to reply is that we were not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed by engineering.

Answers:

A. The level of accuracy depends on the situation.

B. I recently learned that the recruit failed.

C. We didn’t reply because we didn’t know until yesterday that engineering had unavoidably delayed the report.